Computer Abbreviations

AOL - Anti On-Line

APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

COMPUTER Capable Of Making Perfectly Uncomplicated Tasks Extremely Rigorous

DOS Defunct Operating System

IBM I Blame Microsoft

IBM I Bought Macintosh

ISDN It Still Does Nothing

LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses

LOTUS Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash, If Not The Operating System Hangs

MCSE Minesweeper Consultant & Solitaire Expert

MCSE Must Consult Someone Experienced

MCSE Making Computers Slow Everyday

MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

MIPS Mistakes Incurred Per Second

MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

NASCAR Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

NTSC Never The Same Color

OS/2 Obsolete Soon Too

PASCAL Pedantry And Strictness Created A Language

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

POTS Plain Old Telephone System

RISC Reduced Into Silly Code

SCSI System Can't See It

SCSI-2 System Can't See It Again

SNMP Security Not My Problem

WINDOWS Wonderful Interface No Dos User Would Sanction

WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

A lawyer's advice to a doctor

A doctor and a lawyer met at a party. Their conversation was interrupted repeatedly by guests asking the doctor for medical advice. Finally, the exasperated doctor turned to the lawyer and said, "Tell me, what do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"When they ask, I give them advice", replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill in the morning."

The doctor decided to take the lawyer's advice and for the rest of the evening wrote down the names and addresses of everyone who approached him for advice. The next morning he took out the list, just as his secretary walked into his office and handed him a bill from the lawyer.

Lawyer defending a burglar

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

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A picture that speaks a thousand words about BUsh:This man only know war3x.but doesn't know how to respect a country.He try to stop iran from bulding a nuclear reactor but at the same time he also building and upgrading his country own nuclear reactor.huh.what a silly damn person.One for sure that is hell is waiting for him....

haha...this thing happen to la....

true story...
there was a student that want to fill in a form....

Semua dia boleh isi kecuali ruangan 'Bangsa'.


Pasal dia nie berdarah kacukan. Lepas tu pikir dia... bapa dia orang
cina.


Mak dia pula orang Baii (Bengali ye).


Maka, dengan sesegera mi segera 2-minit Maggi, dia pun tulis lah
'Cibai'.....

Real life spongebob found!

shocking....hahaha..spongebob before became famous!!!=)

New Toilet Signs

No more boring toilet signs....... lets get real this time >:)...hehehe..exclusive signs

karam singh walia - ayat power

kuang..kuang..kuang.....
karam singh walia - ayat power

1. Kemana tumpahnya kuah kalau tidak ke bawah
2. Tak lapuk dek hujan, tak lekang macam rambutan
3. Tiada rotan, pelempang berguna juga
4. Biar lambat asalkan tak cepat
5. Biar putih tulang, jangan kuning gigi
6. Di mana ada gula di situ adalah gula-gula
7. Kalah jadi abu, menang jadi arang, seri jadi abu bakar
8. Carik-carik bulu ayam, lama-lama jadi shuttlecock
9. Secupak takkan jadi 18 cupak
10. Gajah mati meninggalkan gading, udang harimau mati meninggalkankulit, manusia mati meninggal dunia
11. Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, inikan pula makanan di dalam mulut.
12. Harapkan pagar, pagar tidak boleh diharap
13. Alang-alang mandi biar guna sabun
14. Berapa berat mata memandang, berat lagi seguni beras
15. Cubit paha kanan, paha kiri tak rasa apa-apa pun
16. Diam-diam ubi berisi, diam-diam orang…bisu
17. Hidup segan mati di tanam
18. Ikut hati mati, ikut rasa merasa
19. Lembu punya susu cap teko dapat nama
20. Sehari selambar benang lama-lama benang habis
21. Jika kail panjang sejengkal, beli le yang panjang sikit kalau nak ngail di laut. (beli la pukat tunda lagi baik)
22. Hendak seribu daya, tak hendak tak apa
23. Membujur lalu melintang pukang
24. Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik hari tak hujan
25. Sebab pul ut santan binasa, sebab mulut habis pulut
26. Kecil-kecil cili padi, kecil lagi biji cili
27. Kalau sudi katakan sudi, kalau tak sudi boleh blah!!

kuang..
kuang..
kuang..

COPS IN AFRICA

Koleksi puting Susu

Karangan UPSR

UNLIMITED TEKA TEKI!!!! BROUGHT TO U BY THE KAMEN RIDER BLACK RX!!!

1)Kumpulan Rock yang telah mengerjakan Haji
Abang-abang Haji.....KUMPULAN BAJI

2) Penyanyi yang paling demand banyak
duit.....HETTY COST ENDANG

3) Penyanyi yang paling berat dalam
sejarah.....ABOT (dalam bahasa jawa bermaksud
berat)

4) Kumpulan Orang Asli Paling Berjaya.....O.A.G
(Orang Asli Gombak)

5) Kumpulan yang paling murah menerima
bayaran.....SCOIN (pakai syiling jer)

6) Kumpulan Nasyid yang terdiri dari orang
jawa.....AL-JAWAHER

7) Kumpulan Rock yang Paling wangi.....MAY
(Bau Sabun)

CoolKumpulan Rock Paling Bahaya.....AMUK

9) Kumpulan Rock Yg Terdiri dari Bomoh
Professional .....MANTERRA

10) Kumpulan Rock yang takut mandi
pagi.....GIEGIEL

11) Kumpulan Rock yang selalu kena
migrain.....HEADWIND

12) Kumpulan yang telah mengkormersialkan Roti
Benggali Pedas.....GINGERBREAD

13) Kumpulan yang mudah berpecah.....KRISTAL

14) Kumpulan Rock yang makan nasi pakai
tangan kiri .....LEFTHANDED

15) Kumpulan yang ada power..... KEMBARA
(sebab ader DVVT)

16) Kumpulan yang terdiri dari pesawah.....PADI

17) Kumpulan yang paling popular di pagi
raya.....TOO PHAT (Ke-too-phat)

1Cool Kumpulan yang kejap cantek kejap
hodoh.....PRETTY UGLY

19) Kumpulan yang boleh lihat tapi tak leh
pegang.....4U2C

20) Penyanyi yang tak pernah kena speed
trapppp.....MELLY GO-SLOW

21) Kumpulan yang susah nak sakit.....MEDICINE

22) Kumpulan yang paling bengap walaupun dah
kaya.....PAK PANDER

23) Kumpulan yang paling di
hormati .....KUMPULAN DEWA

24) Kumpulan yang memperkenalkan Roti Boy di
Midvalley.....NEW BOYZ

25) Kumpulan yang tak akan buat show pada
bulan lain kecuali bulan 9.....SWEET SEPTEMBER

26) Kumpulan Paling berani.....KAMIKAZE

27) Kumpulan yang selalu gi konvoi.....XPDC

2Cool Kumpulan yg ada sayap.....WINGS

29) Kumpulan yg suka amik gambar &
autograf.....FOTOGRAF

30) Kumpulan yg selalu dapat cari orang (macam
along/ceti).....SEARCH

31) Kumpulan yg selalu banteras rasuah.....B.P.R
(Bumi Putra Rockers)

32) Kumpulan yg suka dera kucing.....Alleycats

33) Kumpulan yg banyak taik mata.....E.Y.E

34) Kumpulan yg suka tanam bunga ros
hitam.....BLACKROSE

35) Kumpulan yg selalu adakan jualan karnival beli
belah.....MEGA (Mega Sales)

36) Kumpulan yg ada daya tarikan
bumi.....GRAVITY

pintu apa walau dgn 10 org pun takleh
nak tolak?

Jawapan :
pintu yg ade tulis TARIK
+++++++++++++++++++++

Kalau seorang apek kat bumi pergi ke
bulan...ape yg jadi kat bumi?

Jawapan :
Bumi kehilangan seorang apek la....
+++++++++++++++++++++

apa benda dalamnya ikan kat luar
ayam

Jawapan :
ikan sadin cap ayam
+++++++++++++++++++++

banyak-banyak sate, sate apa paling
panas?

Jawapan :
saterika (iron)
+++++++++++++++++++++

sebanyak banyak ayam, ayam apa
ada pisau dibelakang?

Jawapan :
ayam kena tikam dibelakang
+++++++++++++++++++++

kucing menawan tikus, ular menawan
katak, singa menawan ape?

Jawapan :
singer menawan keluarga bahagia

Whatz the plan this weekend?

HI,

Whatz the plan this weekend?






Dating?


Call to girl/boy friend?


Sleeping?


Riding?




Gardening?




Hey…!!




Jolly!!




J But…. one thing I remember ././

Have a nice day

new puma logo...

Carlsberg keluarkan beer tanpa alcohol untuk pasaran Negara islam.

Carlsberg Brewery Malaysia Bhd yang beroperasi di Shah Alam, Selangor telah bertekad untuk meluaskan pasaran mereka khususnya ke negara Arab di Asia Barat bagi produk Beer tanpa alkohol.

Menurut Pengarah Urusan Carlsberg yang baru, Soren Holm Jensen dalam temubual bersama wartawan The Edge FinancialDaily, beer tanpa alkohol ini akan disasarkan kepada masyarakat Islam disana. Tiada sebarang logo halal akan diletakan pada pelekat botol minuman berkenaan, kerana ianya dikeluarkan dari kilang yang sama yang memproses minuman beralkohol yang lain keluaran syarikat ini.

Perkara ini sekaligus dilihat sebagai strategi untuk mempromosikan jenama Carlsberg di dunia arab dan tidak mustahil pada masa akan datang permintaan terhadap arak Carlsberg akan wujud disana .


Langkah Kerajaan Malaysia menaikkan cukai minum keras, langsung tidak menjejaskan prestasi jualan syarikat ini yang kini mensasarkan Malaysia sebagai induk bagi pengeluaran produk minum syarikat Carlsberg untuk pasaran seluruh dunia.

Kempen Anti Rempitt

This is what happens when your father is a Graphic Designer

Its intresting and it works .. check it out...

Is this your h/p numbe r?
1) Key-in the first 3 digit of your handphone number (not the 01x number) into the calculator
2) multiply by 80
3) add 1
4) multiply by 250
5) plus last four digit of phone number
6) plus last four digit of phone number again
7) minus 250
8) divide by 2 at last

Is it your handphone number????
AMAZING ISN'T IT !!!

How to write a resignation letter?

Short but not formal....


A bit formal.....


Formal One......

Or this one?

The 10 Most Annoying Alarm Clocks

#10 - Climbing clock . It hangs above your head and starts climbing while it rings. Don't wake up fast enough, and you won't be able to shut it up without a ladder.



# 9 Wake Up Puzzle . You have to build the puzzle to make it stop



# 8 Wake or Curse . You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.



# 7 High Tech . This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.


# 6 Find The Pin - You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.



# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem - The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.


# 4 GI Joe . You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.





# 3 Floating Around - Will float around the room until you'll catch it.




# 2 Kaboom - This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.




# 1 Hide and Seek - The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.