Computer Abbreviations

AOL - Anti On-Line

APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

COMPUTER Capable Of Making Perfectly Uncomplicated Tasks Extremely Rigorous

DOS Defunct Operating System

IBM I Blame Microsoft

IBM I Bought Macintosh

ISDN It Still Does Nothing

LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses

LOTUS Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash, If Not The Operating System Hangs

MCSE Minesweeper Consultant & Solitaire Expert

MCSE Must Consult Someone Experienced

MCSE Making Computers Slow Everyday

MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

MIPS Mistakes Incurred Per Second

MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

NASCAR Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

NTSC Never The Same Color

OS/2 Obsolete Soon Too

PASCAL Pedantry And Strictness Created A Language

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

POTS Plain Old Telephone System

RISC Reduced Into Silly Code

SCSI System Can't See It

SCSI-2 System Can't See It Again

SNMP Security Not My Problem

WINDOWS Wonderful Interface No Dos User Would Sanction

WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

A lawyer's advice to a doctor

A doctor and a lawyer met at a party. Their conversation was interrupted repeatedly by guests asking the doctor for medical advice. Finally, the exasperated doctor turned to the lawyer and said, "Tell me, what do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"When they ask, I give them advice", replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill in the morning."

The doctor decided to take the lawyer's advice and for the rest of the evening wrote down the names and addresses of everyone who approached him for advice. The next morning he took out the list, just as his secretary walked into his office and handed him a bill from the lawyer.

Lawyer defending a burglar

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

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A picture that speaks a thousand words about BUsh:This man only know war3x.but doesn't know how to respect a country.He try to stop iran from bulding a nuclear reactor but at the same time he also building and upgrading his country own nuclear reactor.huh.what a silly damn person.One for sure that is hell is waiting for him....