One line jokes-Cholesterol

I expostulate way as well quick to be concerned about cholesterol.

Funny jokes-Lantern with a genie

A New Brunswicker, a Quebecer, as well as a Newfie were on foot down a road together as well as they bumped in to a lighting device with a genie inside.

Out pops a genie as well as he says, "I will accede to we a single instruct each. Who wants to go first?"

The New Brunswicker says, "Me, we instruct to go first."

So a genie replies, "Ok, what is your wish?"

The New Brunswicker said, "My instruct is to have a 2-lane main road across New Brunswick, well-spoken as a baby's arse!"

The genie said, "Poof! There we go. A main road as well-spoken as a baby's arse!"

The Quebecer pipes up as well as says, "Well we am going next!

Genie, we instruct a 20-foot wall around a limit of Quebec to keep all a damn Englishmen out!"

Genie, "Poof! There's your 20-foot wall. Now Newfie, it is your turn.

What do we want?"

The Newfie looks at a genie as well as asks, "Genie, is which wall we only put around Quebec waterproof?"

Genie, "Yep!"

Newfie, "Filler up!"

Really funny jokes-Three Spanish tourists

Three Spanish tourists have been up in a tree in Mexico when a law enforcemetn officer sees them.

"What have been you doing up there?

Come upon men, get down. Let's not have any of you falling as well as getting hurt!"

The guys get down ... "Ok. Now, who have been you?"

"Wow, what a memory! We have been the Spanish dudes from the tree!"

Hilarious jokes-Danish man

The Danish male had a problem. His wife was entrance home on a sight though he could not recollect if she was entrance at 8:40 or 4:80.

Birthday jokes-Present

Forget about a past, you can't shift it.

Forget about a future, you can't envision it.

Forget about a present, I didn't get you one.

Funny jokes-Good trade

A Canadian bloke is walking down a travel with a box of drink underneath his arm.

His crony Randy stops him as well as asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got which box of drink for?"

"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.

"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

One line jokes-Drinking in the New Year

When we thought about a evils of drinking in a New Year, we gave up thinking.

Funny jokes-Good trade

A Canadian bloke is walking down the travel with a box of drink underneath his arm.

His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that box of drink for?"

"Well, we got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.

"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

One line jokes-Drinking in the New Year

When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.

Funny jokes-Good trade

A Canadian bloke is on foot down the travel with a case of drink under his arm.

His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of drink for?"

"Well, we got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.

"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

Animal jokes-A donkey called Dobbin

Desmond, who was a real locale dweller, drove his automobile in to a embankment when out upon a nation roads. Luckily, a local rancher came was passing by with his large clever dickey called Dobbin.

He hitched Dobbin up to a automobile and announced loudly, 'Pull, Dolly, pull!' Dobbin didn't move a single inch.

Then a rancher yelled, 'Pull, Robbie, pull.' Still Dobbin unsuccessful to respond.

Once more a rancher ordered in a stentorian voice, 'Pull, Ringo, pull.' Again - nothing.

Then a rancher nonchalantly and quietly muttered, 'Pull, Dobbin, pull.' Immediately a dickey easily dragged a automobile out of a ditch.

Desmond was really elegant but also really curious. He asked a rancher why he called his dickey by a opposite name three times.

The rancher whispered by approach of reply, 'Oh, Dobbin is blind and if he thought he was a only a single pulling, he wouldn't even try.'

Really funny jokes-Stupid Bank robber

In Bowie, Maryland USA, a robber entered a bank as well as gave a teller a note demanding cash. After his demand was honoured, he fled. Upon returning home, he was amazed to find a police waiting for him. It appears he had written a note upon a behind of his bank deposition slip.

Hilarious jokes-History or Geography

First thing a single Monday morning, a pirate pennyless in to a bank, as well as forked his guns during a cashier said,

'Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!'

The cashier laughed as well as said, 'You meant to say 'HISTORY.'

The pirate answered, 'Don't change a subject.'

Italian jokes-Hands in pocket

What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pocket?

A mute.

Birthday jokes-Train seat

Why was the stationmaster's son having the cake on the train seat?

It was his berth-day.

Funny jokes-Survivor

Network TV is reported to be developing a Texas version of "Survivor," a popular TV show.

Contestants contingency travel from Amarillo by Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio as well as behind to Amarillo, by San Marcos as well as Lubbock.

Each will be driving a Volvo with a fender sticker that reads: "I voted for Kerry, I'm gay, as well as I'm here to take your guns."

The first contestant to finish a turn outing is a winner.

Really funny jokes-FIAT

What does FIAT stand for?

* Fix it again Tony

* Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

* Feeble Italian Attempt during Transportation

* Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights

Clean jokes-Out of the pool

How do you get 100 Canadians out of a swimming pool upon a hottest day of a summer?

Just scream "Ok now, everybody out of a pool!"

Funny jokes-Hillbilly

What's a difference in between a great ol' boy as well as a hillbilly?

The great ol' boy raises livestock. The hillbilly gets emotionally involved.

One line jokes-Missing mass of the universe

"Whatever the missing mass of the star is, I hope it's not in cockroaches."
the New York City tenant.

Hilarious jokes-Birthday party

A lady is throwing a Birthday celebration for her granddaughter, as good as had left all out.. a caterer, band, as good as a hired clown.

Just prior to a celebration started, two bums showed up seeking for a handout.

Feeling sorry for a bums, a lady told them which she would give them a meal if they will help chop a little timber for her out back.

Gratefully, they headed to a back of a house.

The guests arrived, as good as all was going good with a young kids having a smashing time.

But a jester hadn't shown up.

After a half as good as hour, a jester finally called to inform which he was stranded in traffic, as good as would substantially not make a celebration at all.

The lady was really unhappy as good as unsuccessfully attempted to entertain a young kids herself.

She happened to demeanour out a window as good as saw a single of a bums we do cartwheels opposite a lawn.

She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did mid-air flips, as good as leaped high in a air.

She spoke to a alternative crippled as good as said, "What your friend is we do is absolutely marvelous.

I have never seen such a thing.

Do we cruise your friend would cruise repeating this performance for a young kids at a party? we would compensate him $50!"

The alternative crippled says, "Well, we dunno. Let me ask him. 'HEY WILLIE! FOR $50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"

Really funny jokes-Cheerleader

Q. How does the cheerleader answer the phone?

A. H-E-L-L-O!

Finance jokes-Sell it all

A man calls his broker all anxious as well as out of exhale with this urgency in his voice. He says, "Sell it all, sell all fast, right away." The broker tries to insist which a marketplace is cyclical in inlet as well as which for prolonged term outlook bonds still sojourn a place to be.
The man says, "Let me tell we a secret. You know I've been tied together for 6 years now as well as I've been your client for 5 years."
"Yes, go on," a broker says.
"Well. My wife has this thing about a market. Her grandparents mislaid it all in a good crash as well as ever since afterwards her family found investing in a marketplace akin to original sin. When we got tied together I promised her which I would follow in her parents footsteps as well as never try in a stock marketplace as well as regularly leave all a income under a mattress."
"Wow, I didn't know that. I theory we wish a income since a marketplace is starting down, in box she asks for it."
"No, I wish a income since she ordered a brand new mattress as well as it is being delivered in two days."

Funny jokes-Lost a thong

Fred sees an aged Abo on foot down the road, assumingly preoccupied to the actuality which he's wearing usually the single thong.

"Hey, Jackie" calls out Fred, "You've mislaid the thong!".

"Nah, mate" says the aged Abo, "I've only found one".

Hilarious jokes-Confucius Reexamined

* Man who burst off precipice burst to conclusion.

* Man with parsimonious trousers is pressing his luck.

* Man with one chopstick go hungry.

* Man who scratches bum should not bite fingernails.