0
People Laughs

Friday, September 30, 2011

Hilarious jokes-An apple a day


Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "is it true which an apple a day keeps a alloy away?"

"That's what they say," said his Dad.

"Well, give me an apple discerning ? I've just damaged a doctor's window!"

0
People Laughs

Finance jokes-Laws of Acounting


Laws of Accounting

1. Trial balances don't
2. Bank reconciliations never do
3. Working Capital does not
4. Return upon Investments never will
0
People Laughs

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Really funny jokes-Chewing gum


McNally was receiving his initial craft ride, drifting over a Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of nipping gum. "It's to keep your ears from popping at tall altitudes," she explains.

When a craft landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I'm meetin' me wife right away. How do I get a resin out of me ears?"
0
People Laughs

Clean jokes-Running nose


I see a baby's nose is running again," pronounced a disturbed father.

"For goodness sake!" snapped his wife. "Can't we consider of anything other than equine racing?"
0
People Laughs

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Funny jokes-Unbelievable


The desk sergeant answered a phone, as well as during once a lady began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a hulk gray thing in my yard, as well as it's pulling apples off a tree with a tail!"

"What's he you do with a apples?" a sergeant asked. "If we told you," a lady cried, "you wouldn't hold me!"

0
People Laughs

Accountant jokes-Shy and retiring


What's the bashful and timid accountant?

An accountant who is half the million bashful and that's why he's retiring.

R
0
People Laughs

Monday, September 26, 2011

Funny jokes-All you can pick


A Pittsburgh steel workman was driving through northern California's apple country. He stopped during an orchard and asked a owner, "How most have been yer apples?"

"All we can collect for one dollar," pronounced a rancher.

"Okay," pronounced a Pennsylvanian. "I'll take two dollars' worth."
0
People Laughs

Really funny jokes-Meteor Crater


As a Delta Air Lines jet was drifting over Arizona upon a clear day, a co-pilot was upon condition that his passengers with a running explanation about landmarks over a PA system. "Coming up upon a right, you can see a Meteor Crater, that is a major traveller attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel as well as iron, roughly 150 feet in hole as well as weighing 300,000 tons, struck a earth during about 40,000 miles an hour, pinch white-hot debris for miles in each direction. The hole measures nearly a mile opposite as well as is 570 feet deep."

From a cabin, a newcomer was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed a highway!"
0
People Laughs

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Funny jokes-All you can pick


A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving by northern California's apple country. He stopped at an orchard as well as asked a owner, "How much have been yer apples?"

"All we can collect for a single dollar," pronounced a rancher.

"Okay," pronounced a Pennsylvanian. "I'll take dual dollars' worth."
0
People Laughs

Accountant jokes


What's an actuary?
An accountant without a sense of humor.

Why do a little accountants decide to turn actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.

What do actuaries do to liven up their bureau party?
Invite an accountant.
0
People Laughs

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Good jokes-Pharaohs


What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies
.
0
People Laughs

Really funny jokes-Blonde stewardess


An airline captain was violation in a really flattering brand new blonde stewardess. The route they were drifting had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, a captain showed a stewardess a most appropriate place for airline crew to eat, shop as well as stay overnight. The subsequent morning as a pilot was scheming a crew for a day's route, he noticed a brand new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at a hotel as well as called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered a phone, sobbing, as well as pronounced she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" a captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," a single is a bathroom, a single is a closet, as well as a single has a sign upon it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
0
People Laughs

Friday, September 23, 2011

One line jokes-Drink and drive


Why do we need a driver's looseness to buy liquor when we can't splash as well as drive?
0
People Laughs

Funny jokes-School lunch


School lunches have been not in all popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.

"What kind of cake do you call this ?" asked one schoolboy indignantly.

"What's it taste of ?" asked a cook.

"Glue!" "Then it's apple pie, a plum cake tastes of soap."
0
People Laughs

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Hilarious jokes-Parrot in plane


On reaching his craft chair a male is surprised to see a parrot strapped in subsequent to him. He asks a stewardess for a coffee where upon a parrot squawks "And get me a blockade we cow!"

The stewardess, flustered, brings behind a blockade for a parrot as well as forgets a coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her a parrot drains its glass as well as bawls "And get me another blockade we idiot".

Quite upset, a girl comes behind shaking with another blockade but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness a male tries a parrot's proceed "I've asked we twice for a coffee, go as well as get it now or I'll flog you".

The subsequent moment, both he as well as a parrot have been wrenched up as well as thrown out of a puncture exit by two rugged stewards. Plunging downwards a parrot turns to him as well as says "For someone who can't fly, we protest as well much!"
0
People Laughs

Short funny jokes-Baby girls and boys


Why do you skirt baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue?

Because they can't skirt themselves.

0
People Laughs

Short funny jokes-Baby girls and boys


Why do you skirt baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue?

Because they can't skirt themselves.

0
People Laughs

Hilarious jokes-Parrot in plane


On reaching his plane chair a male is surprised to see a parrot strapped in subsequent to him. He asks a stewardess for a coffee where upon a parrot squawks "And get me a blockade we cow!"

The stewardess, flustered, brings behind a blockade for a parrot as well as forgets a coffee. When this omission is forked out to her a parrot drains its potion as well as bawls "And get me another blockade we idiot".

Quite upset, a lady comes behind jolt with another blockade though still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness a male tries a parrot's proceed "I've asked we twice for a coffee, go as well as get it right away or I'll flog you".

The subsequent moment, both he as well as a parrot have been wrenched up as well as thrown out of a puncture exit by dual burly stewards. Plunging downwards a parrot turns to him as well as says "For someone who can't fly, we protest too much!"
0
People Laughs

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Good jokes-In the ditch


98% of Americans say "OH S$!&" prior to starting in the ditch on a sleazy road.

The alternative 2% have been from Buffalo or Rochester, NY as well as they say, "Hold my beer as well as WATCH THIS!"
0
People Laughs

Really funny jokes-You Know You're from New Mexico When


You Know You're from New Mexico When

Your the one preferred breakfast beef is sliced fried bologna.

You have been still using the paper permit tag which came with your automobile five years ago.

Your the one preferred restaurant has the chili list instead of the booze list.

You do all your selling as well as promissory note during the drive-up window.

Your Yuletide decorations embody the back back yard of sand as well as 200 paper bags.

You have permit plates upon your walls, but not upon your car.

You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.

You have an extra freezer only for immature chili.

You think the yellow light equates to to go faster as well as the red light is merely the suggestion.

You do not have eye contact with alternative drivers since we can't tell how well armed they have been only by looking.

You think 6 tons of crushed stone makes the beautiful front lawn.

You pass upon the right since that's the fast-lane.

You have read the book whilst pushing from Albuquerque to Las Vegas.

There is the piece of the UFO displayed in your home.

All your out-of-state friends as well as kin visit in October.

You do not see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.

Your alternative vehicle is also the pick-up truck.

You have driven to an Indian Casino during 3 AM since we were hungry.

Tumbleweeds as well as various cactus in your back back yard have been not weeds. They have been your lawn.

If we travel anywhere, no make the difference if only to run to the gas station, we must bring along the bottle of H2O as well as some moisturizer.


0
People Laughs

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Economy jokes-Harvest crunch


The Allied Irish Bank has issued a credit notice about Kellogg's, they have been disturbed about a Harvest Crunch.
0
People Laughs

Funny jokes-Blue elephants


Alonzo visits Doctor Pedro.

Alonzo: "Doctor, doctor, I see blue elephants everywhere."

Pedro: "Have we seen the psychologist yet?"

Alonzo: "No, just blue elephants."
0
People Laughs

Monday, September 19, 2011

Really funny jokes-In case of emergency


A Spanish guy enters the hospital to have the minor operation.

A helper begins to take down his information: name, insurance company, etc.

"In case of emergency, whom should you notify?"

"You meant if we turn really sick?"

"Well . . . yes."

"If which happens, call the doctor!"
0
People Laughs

Hilarious jokes-Two bankers


Two bankers have been in the bank when armed robbers burst in.

While multiform of the robbers take the income from the tellers, others line the customers, including the bankers, up opposite the wall, and ensue to take their jewelry, wallets and watches.

While this is going upon landowner series one puts something in landowner series two's hand. Without seeking down, landowner series two whispers, 'What is this?' to that landowner series one replies, 'It's that $50 I owe you.'
0
People Laughs

Sunday, September 18, 2011

One line jokes-Slow down


Middle age is when you are warned to slow down by a alloy instead of a policeman.

 

Copyright © 2010 Just For Laughs | Premium Blogger Templates & Photography Logos | PSD Design by Amuki